Ice and Fire – a heart pierced with ice but hope of warmth on the horizon

icicle and sun

The Hope of Spring Photo by Peggy Guiler

There are things in this life which we just don’t ever want to share with anyone.  Usually they are either huge embarrassments , or huge trauma.  Sometimes they are both.  They are the things which feel like icicles piercing our hearts when we say them out loud, All we can do is hope the person we have dared to bare our heart to cares enough to be that sun on the horizon which will melt the ice and support the healing that needs to take place.

Those things we hide so carefully, so deep within our souls, are the things which weigh us down.  They are the things which, by their holding, drive wedges in relationships and form our slightly perverted destinies.  They are the things which waken us in the night with nightmares and which haunt us in the daylight like fog on a frozen river.  Paradoxically, they are can also be things, which in their telling, drive wedges in our relationships and turn our destinies.

Our deep secrets are so painful that when we reveal them it actually causes physical pain.  The irony is, that when we hold them, it also causes us pain.

Today I dared to say something out loud that I never wanted to tell anyone..The telling of it could be an ending or a new beginning.  I hope for the later but have to brace for the former.

To God alone I can reveal my heart with no fear of reprisal.

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About Peggy Guiler

You just never know what show up on my blog. As the name implies it is about the stuff of life just like Spilt Milk. Everyday events spark thought and contemplation. Special events in the community, the country or the world may strike a cord and get me talking. Sometimes it's about people in my life or circumstances, sometimes about my garden, sometimes about a book or a political issue. Always it's about something I am passionate about. In my business, River of Hope Enterprises, I work as an "Associate Certified Coach" (International Coach Federation), a trainer, consultant and speaker. and soon to be, spiritual director. I also drive a school bus to keep the wolf from the door while I build my business. I love the kids on the bus (most of the time). My family is grown and I have three grandkids who thrill my heart but I don't get to see any of them very often. Circumstances of life have made "family" difficult. My son died by suicide at age 16 in 2000 and the strain on our family relationships since has been huge. Mental health is a field where I worked for almost 20 years and where I still do some consulting and training. That combined with my own battle with depression and my son's death weave together to form some of my greatest soap box items: suicide intervention, suicide bereavement and peer support in mental health are right on the top of my list. Social justice is an underlying passion. Keeping the wolf from the door as a single parent was full-time work and my career path as a journalists was augmented with cleaning contracts, cooking, retail clerk, and bartending. I have known hard work and am grateful for the experience and perspective it has given me. My own passion for learning has now taken me toward a new field as a Spiritual Director. I am studying with the Ontario Jubilee Program. This new field I believe puts all my talents with people into one place which and may​ become something I can continue into retirement. Supporting people is what I do best. Woven into all of this is my love of writing. Trained as a Journalist, and having worked in the field as a freelance news writer for many years, I have a great love for writing. This blog is a new beginning for me. As I hone my skills and begin to form a daily discipline of writing I hope it will lead to more writing in the future.
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One Response to Ice and Fire – a heart pierced with ice but hope of warmth on the horizon

  1. Leigh says:

    Beautifully said. I’m just across the road if you ever want to talk. xo

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