You Know You Have Been Too Busy When…

…you forget to write your blog.

The “ah haBlog Shirt” moment happened at 9:30 this morning while I was folding laundry and that shirt I hate was in the wash.  As I folded over the words, “More people have read this shirt than read your blog,” a huge lump rose in my throat.  I could’t believe I had been so busy and so exhausted from all the busyness that I completely forgot something which has become so integrated in my life.  I have written a blog every weekday since the first of January.  How could I forget?

While I beat myself up for a few minutes about it I also realized it was a bit of a wake up call.  I have been in such a whirlwind of activity lately, most of which involved doing things for everyone but myself, that my self, my needs and my priorities had completely disappeared from my radar.

That is all part of being a grown up sometimes.  We just have to attend to other people and other people’s needs and our own have to take a back seat.  That is OK but it’s not OK when those things take us over so completely that depression and fatigue begin to overwhelm all else.

I had been running on auto pilot for over two weeks.  A great deal of that was running to visit a family member in hospital in Hamilton and then making arrangements and preparing things for her to move to another facility.  Part of it was working and trying to fit the other usual demands of life into the days and nights.

Saturday we were finally able to get our family member into a respite care facility close to home so the 2.5 hours of travel for visits were reduced to 20 minutes on the road.  Friday had been a day of one mishap after another, much of which was the result of just being way to exhausted to make one more plan or one more decision.  I could not think and the comedy of errors that took place is worth a whole blog of it’s own.  Suffice to say I was completely finished and felt a bit like someone from Kansas had dropped a house on me.  With all the tornadoes in the air it wouldn’t have been a surprise.  In fact it may have been a relief.

I wasn’t done yet though.  I had to fill in for our minister on Sunday morning so the sermon which had been neglected all week took precedence on Saturday afternoon.  I thought and and I thought and I thought some more until my brain was sore and then I thought some more but at last the sermon rolled out of my head to fingers and onto the keyboard.  I am so relieved that I serve a Creator who is bigger than my weakness.

Sunday morning the sermon was delivered and then I came home and began the slow process of disintegration which seems to befall me when a crisis is past.  I slept, I cried a little, I puttered in the garden, I slept and read for a while.  I was only moving because it was required to go through the motions but I believe I was numb with exhaustion.  There were a few errands to run on Monday and it also beckoned with laundry which is a usual Saturday task along with the cleaning of bathrooms.  The housework has been neglected for weeks and while I decided not to try to do it all in one day there were some basics which needed attention.

I was unwinding…or was it unraveling?.

We took some time for ourselves for the first time in a long while and went on our favourite date, to an auction.  I bought something I have wanted and been looking to have in the bedroom for a long time and a little painting I love.  It was nice to laugh and breath for a while.  I guess when I got home I was so relaxed after this month – or is it two months – of tension and running that I just dropped off the planet for a while.

Thanks to both of you who missed me.

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About Peggy Guiler

You just never know what show up on my blog. As the name implies it is about the stuff of life just like Spilt Milk. Everyday events spark thought and contemplation. Special events in the community, the country or the world may strike a cord and get me talking. Sometimes it's about people in my life or circumstances, sometimes about my garden, sometimes about a book or a political issue. Always it's about something I am passionate about. In my business, River of Hope Enterprises, I work as an "Associate Certified Coach" (International Coach Federation), a trainer, consultant and speaker. and soon to be, spiritual director. I also drive a school bus to keep the wolf from the door while I build my business. I love the kids on the bus (most of the time). My family is grown and I have three grandkids who thrill my heart but I don't get to see any of them very often. Circumstances of life have made "family" difficult. My son died by suicide at age 16 in 2000 and the strain on our family relationships since has been huge. Mental health is a field where I worked for almost 20 years and where I still do some consulting and training. That combined with my own battle with depression and my son's death weave together to form some of my greatest soap box items: suicide intervention, suicide bereavement and peer support in mental health are right on the top of my list. Social justice is an underlying passion. Keeping the wolf from the door as a single parent was full-time work and my career path as a journalists was augmented with cleaning contracts, cooking, retail clerk, and bartending. I have known hard work and am grateful for the experience and perspective it has given me. My own passion for learning has now taken me toward a new field as a Spiritual Director. I am studying with the Ontario Jubilee Program. This new field I believe puts all my talents with people into one place which and may​ become something I can continue into retirement. Supporting people is what I do best. Woven into all of this is my love of writing. Trained as a Journalist, and having worked in the field as a freelance news writer for many years, I have a great love for writing. This blog is a new beginning for me. As I hone my skills and begin to form a daily discipline of writing I hope it will lead to more writing in the future.
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