Of course they are right. We all want good things to flow in our lives and want the benefit of forgiveness for ourselves but it’s not something that comes easily. Somehow the work of holding tight and wishing others would see the error of their ways seems easier though it is really much more difficult than letting it go.
So my quest has begun. As is my habit I want to make sure I do it right so I researched the subject, looking for a formula that I can apply to the situation. I even Googled it. There were hundreds of options but one stood out. An outline on how to forgive by Wayne Dyer seemed the best but 15 steps seem so daunting. How can I ever remember all of this? How can I make it work? How do I apply it to the situation/s I need to forgive? What if I don’t do it right?
I make things so complicated…so impossible for myself.
And then I walked through the yard and heard a grasshopper singing. The closer I got the louder it was. If I didn’t want to hear it I could move away. If I decided to laugh at it the sound was fun and joyful. If I decided it was annoying then it was just that. That critter wasn’t trying to change anything about me or my life, it was just being a grasshopper.
That’s how I have to look at the situations and people who have hurt me. They weren’t trying to hurt me they were just being who they are and doing what they do. They were just being grasshoppers. If someone else had been in that place at that time they would have suffered the same treatment. It’s not about me. I need to learn to let it go and not take things so personally. How people treat me is not a reflection on me. It’s a reflection on them and knowing that it is easier to find compassion for them.
The person who enlightened me suggested I write the names on paper and then light them on fire. A great idea but I don’t want to start a bonfire. It’s not a bad idea though and the symbolic gesture may have some lasting impact.
So will I go for the very complicated 15 steps?
I think not. I’ve come upon an easier way:
- When someone comes to mind who has hurt me I quietly remind myself that it is my wish to forgive them, hard as that may be, and I do it.
- Then I say a little prayer for them and the people in their lives. (This is not easy. Sometimes I have to go back to #1 and do a little work on the forgiving part.)
- Let it go and when it tries to come back
- repeat the process or
- write the name on a small piece of paper and burn it in a safe place.
Note: Very often when I’m reflecting about people or things which need to be forgiven I discover I hold much unforgiveness for myself about the situations so I need to include me in the list. Perhaps the hardest of the lot to forgive but also the most necessary.
Moving on to better things and opening to great possibilities.
Be sure to listen to the grasshopper.