I had some mixed thoughts when I found this on Facebook yesterday. The mental health circles I have traveled in for the past 20 years actually had a hard time getting depression recognized as a mental health issue. Often those who lived with depression were, and still are, seen as being lazy and told that they would be fine if they would just “pull up their socks”.
This definition jumped out at me as a bit of an explanation of the weight we who live with depression carry. It’s not so much about our situations as it is about how we fit into this life. I believe people who have depression are very sensitive to the things and people around them and because of that sensitivity they have a great deal of difficulty figuring out how to make themselves fit in the world.
Today as I practiced silence in this wonderful restful place I kept slipping into sleep. On a day I had hoped to do lots of reading and mediating I found myself in “deep rest”. My first response was to beat myself up about it. How could I be so wasteful of my time? How could I not embrace the opportunity to seek the face of God and spend time in their presence?
I could not because today, as most days of my life I was depressed and unlike the rest of my life, today I had permission to fall into deep rest and perhaps allow some of the healing which comes with sleep begin to permeate my soul. Who is to say that I did not meet with my Creator today? Perhaps it is in our deep sleep and deep rest that we feel the presence of the Holy One most.