Practice Being a Three

EneagramHere I go again.  Off to Kingston this coming week to do some peer support training which is my absolute favourite thing in the world to do (besides hug my daughter and grandchildren).  It is when I get to practice being a little less of a nasty nine and become the thriving three.

“What in the world is she talking about?” you say.

Well its all about the Ennegram, which is a personality type system used in the circles I’m travelling in these days.  It is likely one of the older such systems and is used more for a system of self identification and self improvement than it is a tool for the workplace to categorize, or even eliminate workers as some personality tools do.

I was introduced to it almost two years ago and it took me a while to get into it but now I am increasingly seeing it’s benefits.

One of the things it supports is the integration of your personality so you become more well rounded and enhance the qualities which are already present with some complimentary qualities in another type with which you are paired.

I won’t even try to explain the whole thing but the long and the short of it for me is that I am a nine and I need to build on some of the qualities of the three.  Nine’s are known as peacemakers but the unfortunate thing about that is that we are sometimes seen as wishy washy and can tend to be a bit withdrawn and not very assertive and have a tendency not to get things finished.  Ask my crochet basket about that one.

The personality type we are to try to integrate is the three which is the Achiever.  They are, energetic, optimistic, self-assured and goal oriented.  When I do peer support training that is me and it is a me I really like.  I often say that something in me changes when I do this training.  It’s almost like a different person emerges from my often depressed and non-confident self.

In my journey over the past few years I have discovered a few tools which are helpful  in developing into the person I want to be.  This is one which is becoming increasingly helpful to me.  It is also one which is widely used in Spiritual Direction.  The more I learn about it the better I like it.

Another is the Examine and now I’m learning about the Ignatian Examine but that is for another day.


About Peggy Guiler

You just never know what show up on my blog. As the name implies it is about the stuff of life just like Spilt Milk. Everyday events spark thought and contemplation. Special events in the community, the country or the world may strike a cord and get me talking. Sometimes it's about people in my life or circumstances, sometimes about my garden, sometimes about a book or a political issue. Always it's about something I am passionate about. In my business, River of Hope Enterprises (, I work as an "Certified Coach" (International Coach Federation), a trainer, consultant and speaker. and as a spiritual director. I also drive a school bus to keep the wolf from the door while I build my business. I love the kids on the bus (most of the time). My family is grown and I have three grandkids who thrill my heart but I don't get to see any of them very often. Circumstances of life have made "family" difficult. My son died by suicide at age 16 in 2000 and the strain on our family relationships since has been huge. Mental health is a field where I worked for almost 22 years and where I still do some consulting and training. That combined with my own battle with depression and my son's death weave together to form some of my greatest soap box items: suicide intervention, suicide bereavement and peer support in mental health are right on the top of my list. Social justice is an underlying passion. Keeping the wolf from the door as a single parent was full-time work and my career path as a journalists was augmented with cleaning contracts, cooking, retail clerk, and bartending. I have known hard work and am grateful for the experience and perspective it has given me. A firmly grounded faith and a passion for learning has now taken me toward a new field as a Spiritual Director and I am soon adding to that a license to marry people. As I move toward retirement I am very aware that I have to keep working so I chose to do things which will meet my modest financial needs and also my love of supporting people in their life journey. Woven into all of this is my love of writing. Trained as a Journalist, and having worked in the field as a freelance news writer for many years, I have a great love for writing. This blog is a new beginning for me. As I hone my skills and begin to form a daily discipline of writing I hope it will lead to more writing in the future.
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One Response to Practice Being a Three

  1. Interesting post. I have no idea what you are talking about, but it does sound very interesting and intriguing.

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