Blue Monday – or Tuesday

another-blue-monday-skye-taylorYesterday was what is now referred to as Blue Monday, supposedly the day of the year that is the most depressing or that most people are depressed.  I suspect it is not the same in the Southern Hemisphere as here.  Their’s might show up on the third Monday of July but whenever it is and where ever you are you may have some idea about the truth of the day if you live with any sort of depression at all.

There is a mathematical formula for it apparently although the term was first promoted by a travel company trying to sell tickets to the sun and warm weather in 2005 according to Wikipedia.

Explaining it to people who don’t have it is very difficult but Andrew Solomon has a very insightful talk about it on TED Talks and another based on the book “Day of the Black Dog” explains in simple cartoon what it’s like.    Brene Brown also has a good cartoon about supporting people in dark places.  There is also a book, called the Black Dog  which is an excellent resource for understanding.

Depression is a place I don’t go quite so often any more and I have learned some better coping skills over the past few years but it is still a place I visit from time to time.  There are times when it is provoked by circumstances and health issues but often it is not simple to pin down the cause.  Last week I was there and wrote this.

Have you ever felt…

…So alone that you were sure only God could help but you couldn’t even bring yourself to ask God to be with you.

…on the edge of an abyss you could not name, afraid to fall in because it had no returning but afraid to return from the edge because there was nowhere else to go.

So tired that you could not sleep and then when you do sleep afraid to wake up again.  The dreams are dreadful but the reality is worse.

So lost in your thoughts that your stomach churns from the swirling but you are unable to grab on to one thought long enough to figure out if it makes sense.

With only enough strength to face the task directly before you, just that one step you have to take before you take the next.

Reaching for answers from some distant land where answers can be found when there are really no questions.

Afraid to be where you are because it is so lonely but afraid to leave because you will feel even more alone if you leave the place where you are.

Wishing you knew how to stop the anguish in your heart but having no idea what could possibly make it leave.

Feeling stupid because you know the things troubling you are trivial to the rest of the world, they are not earth shaking tragedies, they won’t cause your death.

Or will they?

and the cycle begins again, the despair, the loneliness, the fear, the wishing you could just vanish for a while and look at things from a different place

or that someone would take your hand and say it’s OK to feel this way,  hold you in their arms and say they understand even if they don’t, caress your head like some distant memory of love from childhood that makes you feel valued and cared for.

If you are in this place or know someone who is having a Blue Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… please find some help, don’t be alone, and hold on to the truth that it will pass even if you don’t believe it will.

 

 

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About Peggy Guiler

You just never know what show up on my blog. As the name implies it is about the stuff of life just like Spilt Milk. Everyday events spark thought and contemplation. Special events in the community, the country or the world may strike a cord and get me talking. Sometimes it's about people in my life or circumstances, sometimes about my garden, sometimes about a book or a political issue. Always it's about something I am passionate about. In my business, River of Hope Enterprises, I work as an "Associate Certified Coach" (International Coach Federation), a trainer, consultant and speaker. and soon to be, spiritual director. I also drive a school bus to keep the wolf from the door while I build my business. I love the kids on the bus (most of the time). My family is grown and I have three grandkids who thrill my heart but I don't get to see any of them very often. Circumstances of life have made "family" difficult. My son died by suicide at age 16 in 2000 and the strain on our family relationships since has been huge. Mental health is a field where I worked for almost 20 years and where I still do some consulting and training. That combined with my own battle with depression and my son's death weave together to form some of my greatest soap box items: suicide intervention, suicide bereavement and peer support in mental health are right on the top of my list. Social justice is an underlying passion. Keeping the wolf from the door as a single parent was full-time work and my career path as a journalists was augmented with cleaning contracts, cooking, retail clerk, and bartending. I have known hard work and am grateful for the experience and perspective it has given me. My own passion for learning has now taken me toward a new field as a Spiritual Director. I am studying with the Ontario Jubilee Program. This new field I believe puts all my talents with people into one place which and may​ become something I can continue into retirement. Supporting people is what I do best. Woven into all of this is my love of writing. Trained as a Journalist, and having worked in the field as a freelance news writer for many years, I have a great love for writing. This blog is a new beginning for me. As I hone my skills and begin to form a daily discipline of writing I hope it will lead to more writing in the future.
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