Blurry Edges in My Brain

Lynn River on a summer morningMost mornings I go for a power walk along our lovely trail and when I do I tuck my phone in my shirt so it won’t fall out.  It’s a great way to carry it but the result on these hot days is that when I go to take a picture, the phone is a bit foggy and leaves this soft haze around most of the pictures I take.

There seems to be a similar haze in my brain the past week or so.  The number of things I’ve forgotten is staggering.  Well, only three really.  One day I was so foggy I forgot my friend was coming for coffee.  I was mortified when she showed up the door.

When we get to certain age things like can be troubling.  We worry if we are beginning to lose it.  Are we suffering some sort of dementia or have we just suddenly become stupid.

After worrying and stewing about it for a couple of days I’ve decided that while I will keep an eye on myself I’m likely not losing it.  What is happening is more likely to do with being a little discombobulated, as my mother would say.

A couple of months ago my whole life took a bit of turn and things changed drastically.  I trudged through and made all the decisions and moves that had to be made.  I was almost heroic as I pushed through the pain of it all.  I didn’t even get depressed.

Could it be that after two months of braving it all my brain was saying, “take a break”.  This is what I prefer to think.  Other’s may have different opinions but this is mine.

What happens to you after you have made your way through a tough time?

How does your letting down manifest?

Can you relate to my experience?





About Peggy Guiler

You just never know what show up on my blog. As the name implies it is about the stuff of life just like Spilt Milk. Everyday events spark thought and contemplation. Special events in the community, the country or the world may strike a cord and get me talking. Sometimes it's about people in my life or circumstances, sometimes about my garden, sometimes about a book or a political issue. Always it's about something I am passionate about. In my business, River of Hope Enterprises (, I work as an "Certified Coach" (International Coach Federation), a trainer, consultant and speaker. and as a spiritual director. I also drive a school bus to keep the wolf from the door while I build my business. I love the kids on the bus (most of the time). My family is grown and I have three grandkids who thrill my heart but I don't get to see any of them very often. Circumstances of life have made "family" difficult. My son died by suicide at age 16 in 2000 and the strain on our family relationships since has been huge. Mental health is a field where I worked for almost 22 years and where I still do some consulting and training. That combined with my own battle with depression and my son's death weave together to form some of my greatest soap box items: suicide intervention, suicide bereavement and peer support in mental health are right on the top of my list. Social justice is an underlying passion. Keeping the wolf from the door as a single parent was full-time work and my career path as a journalists was augmented with cleaning contracts, cooking, retail clerk, and bartending. I have known hard work and am grateful for the experience and perspective it has given me. A firmly grounded faith and a passion for learning has now taken me toward a new field as a Spiritual Director and I am soon adding to that a license to marry people. As I move toward retirement I am very aware that I have to keep working so I chose to do things which will meet my modest financial needs and also my love of supporting people in their life journey. Woven into all of this is my love of writing. Trained as a Journalist, and having worked in the field as a freelance news writer for many years, I have a great love for writing. This blog is a new beginning for me. As I hone my skills and begin to form a daily discipline of writing I hope it will lead to more writing in the future.
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2 Responses to Blurry Edges in My Brain

  1. James says:

    I can totally relate to this. I’m usually together (and I like to think quite young, though the kids I teach would disagree with that assertion) but last year, after a period of relentless stress, uncertainty and heartbreak when I had held it together pretty well, I started having uncharacteristic moments of absence right about the time things started to get better. I think it is just your brain’s way of telling you enough is enough and that you need to take it easy for a bit.

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